I Have No Idea...

Pets are good at certain things, like licking their crotches, shedding on your clothes and getting under your feet before you manage to reach the lightswitch, but ask then to fix your car and they're utterly useless.

Let's say your beloved mutt managed to grow some thumbs and was able to use a cellphone—it would probably be a very bad thing because you'd end up getting texts like this ALL THE FRIKKIN TIME.

This is the work of Rolling Stone photographer Mark Seliger. He makes unique portraits of celebrities that are intimate, sensual and incredibly stylish. These masterpieces (little bit NSFW) include Gwyneth Paltrow, Leonardo DiCaprio and Heidi Klum.

Remember some of your favorite characters from childhood? Well, prepare for them to be turned into twisted demons and freaks in this series that will certainly rape your childhood of any decent remaining memories.

Hilary Clinton. What a gal. All the men want her and all the women want to be her. Sort of. Anyway, it seems the denizens of the internet have been busying themselves by photoshopping her up for political lolz. Thanks guys!

It's that wonderful, peaceful calm before the oncoming storm of an almighty hangover. You've had another heavy night on the booze, and you're past that point where you could fall fast asleep on a bed of rusty nails. Or anywhere.

Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you were a child. Kids are like little rockstars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are!

This stunning celebrity hottie could teach a course on how to make mountains out of molehills! Here she shows off some of her finer assets!

Getting a tattoo might sound like a cool thing to do, but for god's sake, think about it carfully, make sure you realise that it's for life. And under NO circumstances will Edward from Twilight ever be a good choice for a dude.

You just know these are road accidents just waiting to happen. Witness some of the more ingenious ways of trasporting, well, pretty much anything in a vehicle usually built for one or two passengers.

These are one of our favourite types of galleries, featuring cute, girls with ample assets! Our only concern is that we never get asked why we won't look them in the eye. There's far too much else to be looking at!